The records broken in triple j's 2023 Hottest 100

Another year, another Hottest 100. There have been 31 annual countdowns to date, and each one brings new songs, new records, and new things to talk about.

triple j has been talking about a couple of really big records that got broken on the weekend, but it also missed a few. So here's a deep dive into all the records (that I could find) that got broken, extended and equalled on January 27.

Let's start with the obvious ones before we dig a little deeper.

Most songs in a single countdown

Seven songs in a single Hottest 100 seemed impossible, partly because Wolfmother's record of six in 2005 stood for so long, but mostly because splitting an artist's vote across so many songs is unfathomable. Then Spacey Jane equalled Wolfmother in 2022, and now G Flip has gone one better with seven tracks. Their magic numbers were #2, #22, #24, #26, #50, #65, and #80. Will this record ever be bettered or equalled? I can't see it happening, but then I was wrong about Wolfmother's record of six.

Highest finish by a woman of colour/female rapper

Doja Cat's win was another victory for diversity. She bettered Eliza Rose's second place in 2022 as the highest finish by a woman of colour, and surpassed Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion's sixth place in 2020 for highest finish by a female rapper. Doja Cat is also only the second solo woman to win (after Billie Eilish in 2019) and only the second African-American to win (after Kendrick Lamar in 2017).

Biggest gap between appearances

Kylie Minogue last showed up in the Hottest 100 in 1997, with Did It Again at #81. When Padam Padam landed at #48, it had been 26 years between Hottest 100 drinks for Australia's Queen of Pop. It blitzes the 19-year gap produced by Slipknot when they returned to the countdown in 2019 with Unsainted at #86. It's hard to see this record getting broken any time soon - once you're off the triple j playlist, it takes something truly remarkable to get you back on there.

Longest Hottest 100 career

Kylie's return also saw her equal a record set by Damon Albarn in 2022. Albarn first appeared in the Hottest 100 with his band Blur in 1993 (For Tomorrow, #90) and most recently appeared in 2022 with Gorillaz (New Gold, #13). Kylie equalled that 30-year span with Padam Padam, as her first appearance was back in 1994 with Confide In Me (#30).

Oldest woman 

I will stand corrected on this one, but for four songs on Saturday, Kylie held another record - oldest woman to make it into the Hottest 100. To the best I can figure out, the record was previously held by Marianne Faithful, who was 51 when she featured on Metallica's The Memory Remains in 1997 (#38). Kylie is 55. But her grip on the trophy was shortlived. Madonna's appearance alongside The Weeknd and Playboi Carti on the track Popular (#43) saw Madge swoop in and take the prize - the Material Girl is 65 years old.

Most appearances in Hottest 100 history

As everyone knows, Hilltop Hoods surpassed Foo Fighters and Powderfinger last year to become the most successful act in the history of the Hottest 100. Their appearance in the 2023 countdown (Laced Up, #37) gives them 25 appearances in the countdown (triple j only have them on 24 because they don't count their featured spot with Thundamentals' 21 Grams in 2017). That's a new record, either way you look at it. Interestingly, G Flip's massive haul moves them into the top five of all time, with 21 appearances (including two featured appearances triple j doesn't count).

Most countdowns

Hilltop Hoods dominance not only saw them extend their lead on the overall leaderboard, but moved them clear of Foo Fighters for another record - most countdowns appeared in. Both bands were tied on 13, but the Hoodies' latest appearance gives them 14.

The most wrong Warm Tunas has ever been

I don't mean this as a dig - I love 100 Warm Tunas and find it invaluable for catching up on a year's worth of music in the lead-up to every Hottest 100. But it's fascinating to note just how off the social media aggregator was this year. In its early calculations, Warm Tunas had boygenius' Not Strong Enough winning the countdown, before settling it into #2 behind Troye Sivan's Rush. Not Strong Enough finished #30, while predicted winner Rush was #8. Paint The Town Red was predicted to place at #9. Never has the aggregator been so wrong - it's predicted the winner in the past three countdowns and has only been wrong twice, and even then it was only out by a couple of positions on the actual and predicted winners. 

Who will win triple j's Hottest 100 of 2023?

Before I basically copy and paste the intro from previous blogs (I do this every year, folks), a quick note to shout out Tom W Clarke's excellent book Shoulda Been Higher, which celebrates 30 years of triple j's Hottest 100.

Yes, he uses the term "folk" when he means "roots" or "singer-songwriter" or even "acoustic pop", but I can absolutely overlook this for his stellar research, insightful analysis, and the bit where he calls Jet the Avatar of rock music (immensely popular but no cultural influence whatsoever). 

He also highlights some of the great songs that surprisingly missed the countdown over the years, much like this massive undertaking where myself, Tyler Jenke and Patrick Avenell compiled the definitive list of the Hottest 100 omissions.

The book reminded me I'm not the only nerd who loves the absolute shit out of triple j's Hottest 100. Much like Christmas, it's an occasion that brings people together to argue and drink too much, but with the greatest gift of all - quantifiable statistics about music.

The 2023 countdown is on January 27, and will once again deliver what triple j listeners deem to be the best songs of the past year, creating a musical time capsule for decades to come. 

Can we predict the winner? Well, 100 Warm Tunas can - it's been right five out of seven times since Nick Whyte set up his social media-scraping countdown predicter, including the last three Hottest 100s.

Every year I write this blog, calculating the likelihood and unlikelihood of the some of the hot favourites winning the poll by taking into account Warm Tunas and other factors - the bookies, the ARIA charts, and Spotify and YouTube plays. What's interesting is that the ARIA charts are becoming increasingly unimportant, while TikTok has become increasingly important, though it's hard to find figures to fully quantify how far a song has truly spread across TikTok, so for now it's a missing stat.

Meanwhile, 100 Warms Tunas' increasing accuracy - Whyte has been using machine learning (ML) to improve his algorhythm - means this blog is increasingly redundant. But who knows? Maybe some people really do read this in order to sound like they know what they're talking about at a Hottest 100 party.

So let's do it, shall we? 

All stats/odds correct at the time of publishing.

And remember - gamble responsibly.

Rush - Troye Sivan

100 Warm Tunas (without ML): #1

100 Warm Tunas (with ML): #1

Sportsbet: $5 (third favourite)

TAB: $4 (third favourite)

ARIA: #12

Spotify streams: 208m

YouTube plays: 26m

Why it will win: According to this data crunch, Rush was one of the most popular and most played songs on triple j last year. It's also the most streamed Aussie contender, and Aussies have won seven of the last 10 annual Hottest 100. Rush has also been massive on TikTok, and cracked the ARIA top 20, so it has that all important mainstream crossover. triple j has finally caught on to Sivan, having left him off their playlists for the past decade, but now he fits exactly into the youth station's increasingly inclusive and pop-friendly remit. And with triple j being poppier than ever, this is arguably the perfect pop song of 2023.

Why it won't win: The punters aren't convinced - both Sportsbet and TAB have two songs at shorter odds. You could also make a case that this is too poppy to win (Flume's winners had a harder electro edge to them) and that Sivan is too popular. And if mainstream pop is gonna take out top spot, can he really compete with the likes of Doja Cat and Olivia Rodrigo? Factor in that Troye Sivan isn't even in the top 50 most played artists on triple j this year, and maybe the buzz around Rush isn't all that.

Not Strong Enough - boygenius

100 Warm Tunas (without ML): #2

100 Warm Tunas (with ML): #2

Sportsbet: $23 (ninth favourite)

TAB: $8 (fourth favourite)

ARIA: N/A

Spotify streams: 76m

YouTube plays: 3.8m

Why it will win: An amazing song off a truly great album. Sadly, triple j didn't do an album of the year poll for 2023, though this unofficial one puts boygenius' the record at #3 (and Double J's team put it at #7 for what it's worth). A legit poll might've even had it higher. Warm Tunas really likes this, even accounting for its Machine Learning, which typically downgrades rock/guitar tracks. Even the bookies don't mind it (especially TAB), though its odds on Sportsbet have been lengthening over the past week. Could this be the first all-female band to win the Hottest 100? It certainly deserves to be.

Why it won't win: This would be the rockiest track since Kings Of Leon's Sex On Fire took out the poll in 2008. Yes, Ocean Alley and The Rubens have one since them, but this feels closer to rock and/or roll - something that doesn't win Hottest 100s these days. And boygenius, for all their love and hype, haven't got the same mainstream/TikTok/chart appeal as a lot of other stuff on this list. It's also worth noting that early calculations by Warm Tunas had this song winning, but it has faded slightly.

What Was I Made For? - Billie Eilish

100 Warm Tunas (without ML): #8

100 Warm Tunas (with ML): #4

Sportsbet: $21 (equal seventh favourite)

TAB: $21 (equal 14th favourite)

ARIA: #1

Spotify streams: 580m

YouTube plays: 97m

Why it will win: Nothing conquered 2023 quite like Barbie, and Billie Eilish was along for the ride with this existential (and surprisingly complex) piano ballad. It spent three weeks at the top of the ARIA charts, cracked half a billion Spotify streams, and struck a chord with millions. Warm Tunas' machine learning boosts it significantly, Sportsbet punters rate it highly, but more importantly, Eilish has great Hottest 100 form. She's the only solo female artist to win the countdown, and she's the only artist to make the top 10 four years running (2018-2021), and she's appeared in the last six Hottest 100s. Could Eilish join Flume and Powderfinger in the Two-Time Winners Club?

Why it won't win: There's never been a winner that sounds even remotely like What Was I Made For?. And while there's a first time for everything, it's hard to picture a Hottest 100 concluding on such a downer. 

Rumble - Skrillex, Fred Again... & Flowdan

100 Warm Tunas (without ML): #3

100 Warm Tunas (with ML): #3

Sportsbet: $26 (equal 10th favourite)

TAB: $15 (eighth favourite)

ARIA: #32

Spotify streams: 111m

YouTube plays: 1.9m

Why it will win: One of three electronic tracks that peaked on the ARIA charts at #32 that are expected to do well - spooky. Rumble's got big Spotify numbers, bigger than Kylie even, and Fred Again... was the most played artist on triple j this year. Oh, and Skrillex was the third most played. Warm Tunas like this and has three Fred Again... songs in the top 30, after he posted four in last year's countdown. He's on a roll.

Why it won't win: The punters don't seem to like it, and it doesn't seem to have crossed into the mainstream like some of the other likely ones. Fred Again... and Skrillex are also in danger of splitting their vote - between them they have nine songs in the voting guide, partly due to Skrillex releasing two albums in two days in February last year.

Rhyme Dust - MK & Dom Dolla

100 Warm Tunas (without ML): #4

100 Warm Tunas (with ML): #5

Sportsbet: $2.50 (second favourite)

TAB: $3.50 (second favourite)

ARIA: #32

Spotify streams: 85m

YouTube plays: 1m

Why it will win: Lots of money being put on this one, and a lot of hype around Dom Dolla, the Aussie DJ making headway in the US. He was in the top 25 most played artists on triple j this year, and this has the same kinda vibes as Eliza Rose & Interplanetary Criminal's Baddest of Them All and Fisher's Losing It, both of which came in at #2 in 2022 and 2018 respectively. Maybe it's time for house music to take the top prize.

Why it won't win: This kind of club banger has never won - the best they usually do is place second (see above). And that's what the bookies seem to think will happen. Warm Tunas doesn't even think it will get that high. And am I the only one who thinks this song is very meh?

Padam Padam - Kylie Minogue

100 Warm Tunas (without ML): #13

100 Warm Tunas (with ML): #9

Sportsbet: $91 (equal 22nd favourite)

TAB: $21 (14th favourite)

ARIA: #19

Spotify streams: 106m

YouTube plays: 23m

Why it will win: How great would it be if Kylie won? She last appeared in the countdown in 1997 with Did It Again, which was her third Hottest 100 appearance. If she evens make it into the countdown, it will be the longest gap between appearances (beating Slipknot's 19-year absence). And while it seems unlikely on the face of the data - bookies have her top 20, Warm Tunas top 10 - there's hopefully an undercurrent of wishful thinking that will get Kylie across the line. Now that triple j is so pop-oriented, who better to win the Hottest 100 than Australia's Queen of Pop?

Why it won't win: Wikipedia called Padam Padam "a social media viral phenomenon" and noted it "received critical acclaim from music critics" but neither thing is enough to get Kylie across the line. Of the sub-three-minute pop songs here, which is going to be a bigger hit with the kids - Rush or Padam Padam? 

Paint The Town Red - Doja Cat

100 Warm Tunas (without ML): #15

100 Warm Tunas (with ML): #10

Sportsbet: $1.83 (favourite)

TAB: $1.65 (favourite)

ARIA: #1

Spotify streams: 778m

YouTube plays: 173m

Why it will win: This could be the pop-rap song that eats them all. It spent 10 weeks at #1 on the ARIA charts, and 20 weeks in the top 10. It has more Spotify streams and YouTube plays than anything else here, and the bookies love it. Doja Cat was the 21st most played artist on triple j this year and this Walk On By-sampling track was the 12th most played/most popular song on the youth network (according to this metric) in 2023. She also had five tracks in the 2021 countdown, so she's got form.

Why it won't win: On paper, everything looks set for a win for Paint The Town Red, except that its Warm Tunas rating is so low. Even with machine learning, it only bumps to 10th. This could be the key factor that sinks this otherwise unbackable favourite.

The Worst Person Alive - G Flip

100 Warm Tunas (without ML): #11

100 Warm Tunas (with ML): #11

Sportsbet: $13 (fourth favourite)

TAB: $12 (fifth favourite)

ARIA: N/A

Spotify streams: 6m

YouTube plays: 475,000

Why it will win: As mentioned previously, there was no album of the year poll at triple j this year (probably because of Richard Kingsmill's sudden exit) but G Flip's Drummer would've been a contender for #1. They've had 12 songs in the countdown over the past five years, including two top 10 finishes (and a #11 last year). There is a lot of goodwill out there for G Flip, despite Drummer being under-appreciated at the ARIA awards. And with seven songs in the voting guide, maybe this is the one to get G Flip a much deserved #1.

Why it won't win: While the odds are surprisingly short, it would be a massive upset if The Worst Person Alive won. As popular as G Flip is in the triple j sphere (13th most played artist on the station, and discovered via Unearthed), they've not fully crossed into the mainstream, despite a #1 ARIA album and appearance at the AFL Grand Final. Compare G Flip to Troye Sivan and Doja Cat, and it doesn't look like The Worst Person Alive can get across the line. Which is sad.

And here are some other songs destined to do well:

Green Honda - BENEE

100 Warm Tunas (without ML): #12

100 Warm Tunas (with ML): #6

Sportsbet: $67 (equal 17th favourite)

TAB: $19 (11th favourite)

ARIA: N/A

Spotify streams: 8m

YouTube plays: 816,000

Therapy - Budjerah

100 Warm Tunas (without ML): #9

100 Warm Tunas (with ML): #7

Sportsbet: $51 (15th favourite)

TAB: $41 (21st favourite)

ARIA: N/A

Spotify streams: 12m

YouTube plays: 452,000

adore u - Fred Again... & Obongjayar

100 Warm Tunas (without ML): #14

100 Warm Tunas (with ML): #8

Sportsbet: $15 (fifth favourite)

TAB: $13 (sixth favourite)

ARIA: #41

Spotify streams: 79m

YouTube plays: 221,000

(It Goes Like) Nanana - Peggy Gou

100 Warm Tunas (without ML): #17

100 Warm Tunas (with ML): #17

Sportsbet: $26 (equal 10th favourite)

TAB: $19 (11th favourite)

ARIA: #32

Spotify streams: 339m

YouTube plays: 17m

vampire - Olivia Rodrigo

100 Warm Tunas (without ML): #18

100 Warm Tunas (with ML): #16

Sportsbet: $21 (equal seventh favourite)

TAB: $14 (seventh favourite)

ARIA: #1 

Spotify streams: 698m

YouTube plays: 85m

Letting Go - Angie McMahon

100 Warm Tunas (without ML): #7

100 Warm Tunas (with ML): #12

Sportsbet: $151 

TAB: $101

ARIA: N/A

Spotify streams: 3.6m

YouTube plays: 259,000

Back On 74 - Jungle

100 Warm Tunas (without ML): #6

100 Warm Tunas (with ML): #13

Sportsbet: $101 

TAB: N/A

ARIA: N/A

Spotify streams: 82m

YouTube plays: 18m

Leaving The Light - Genesis Owusu

100 Warm Tunas (without ML): #5

100 Warm Tunas (with ML): #14

Sportsbet: $51 (equal 15th favourite)

TAB: $17 (ninth favourite)

ARIA: N/A

Spotify streams: 2.1m

YouTube plays:  620,000

GIG REVIEW: mclusky - Corner Hotel, Melbourne, January 2, 2024

mclusky
Corner Hotel, Melbourne
January 2, 2024

Last time iconic Welsh punk band* mclusky played in Melbourne, frontman Andrew "Falco" Falkous was pretty sure it was the last time we'd see the reunited band in Australia.

(*You have to describe mclusky thusly every time you write about them.)

Thank fuck he was wrong, because mclusky remain a special proposition - they're a hardcore punk band that doesn't take itself too seriously yet is serious about being good at what it does, that is as melodic as it is noisy, that is as absurd as it is insightful, that is as abrasive as it is hilarious.

 

To prevent this blog from being a rerun of the above-linked review of their previous Corner gig in 2020, or to be a do-over of this article I wrote for Double J ahead of their Australian tour, I will make this gig review a run-through of the many random thoughts that went through my head while watching them play each song. Also, gig reviews are kind of naff, and I should know cos I've written a few.

Edit this setlist | More mclusky setlists

1. Fuck This Band

I thought they were gonna play their seminal album mclusky Do Dallas in full, but they're starting with track 7. Ok, cool. They usually start with this song anyway, which always features drummer Jack Egglestone looking bored as fuck while playing the beat. I have a "Fuck This Band" t-shirt which is both the greatest and worst piece of band merch ever because a) it's hilarious yet b) I can't wear it in front of my children or in public or anywhere really except music festivals and I'm too old to go to music festivals.

The only place I can wear it is to a mclusky gig, but everyone does that. I prefer to wear a Muse shirt to mclusky gigs, because nobody does that.

2. Dethink To Survive

So maybe they're playing Do Dallas in a different order. Makes sense - mclusky are not a band to do things by the book. 

This song reminds me of this awesome video, because it sort-of explains who the fuck Danny Baker is for those of us who didn't grow up in the UK.

I mentioned this video to Falco, and he said that he hadn't watched it but that Egglestone had mentioned it at rehearsal one day. Falco went on to say that the proposition put forward in it - that mclusky weren't loved by the likes of NME because they didn't look or dress in a certain way - was basically true.

3. Without MSG I Am Nothing 

I've given up trying to figure out whether they're playing the whole of Do Dallas, because this song is off their *whisper it* equally awesome third album The Difference Between Me and You Is That I'm Not on Fire.

This song is so good. I desperately want to know if "everywhere I look is the darkness" refers to an existential threat of some kind of symbolic darkness, or the greater existential threat that is Justin Hawkins' band The Darkness. I suspect the latter.

I regret standing this close to the moshpit holding what was half a pint of beer.

4. Collagen Rock

I really want to know who this song is about.

5. What We've Learned

Damien Sayell sings this one. He joined mclusky on bass in 2014, replacing Jon Chapple, leading to the band being called mclusky* or "mclusky" up until at least 2020. Sayell is a fucking unit - he sings this song, rocks an upside-down bass and has been known to stage dive. 

6. Day Of The Deadringers

Ok, that's three songs in a row from Do Dallas, in the order they appeared on the record. What is going on here?

7. Unpopular Parts Of A Pig

The first of the new songs and it's a balltearer. Doesn't sound out of place. Falco introduces it by suggesting we go and order a Cinzano if we don't care for the new material. He also takes the piss out of The Libertines for what will not be the last time this evening.

 

8. Lightsabre Cocksucking Blues

One of the hits. The moshpit is going fucking nuts. It's such a wild song - like, who the hell writes songs like this? It's so great and unlike anything else ever.

9. Chases

According to Spotify, this is the least-listened-to song on Do Dallas, which is an absolute travesty.  Seriously, the song absolutely rocks, and "Don't go fucking in the barn... 'cos the barn's on fire" is a great set-up and punchline disguised as a lyric. It's also excellent advice.

Falco's wife and Future Of The Left bandmate Julia Ruzicka jumps on the bass for this one, having apparently hassled Falco for 12 months for the opportunity to do so. Sayell sings it and ends up crowdsurfing for much of the song's 90-second duration. It's a highlight of the night. Ruzicka and Sayell both destroy it.

Much like they did at this gig:

10. She Will Only Bring You Happiness

I always forget this song has no bass in it. I never notice until I see them play it live, and Sayell switches his upside-down bass for an upside-down electric guitar. It's a bold move to leave the bass out of a rock song, especially a single. Prince did that with When The Doves Cry, and that's perhaps the only time anyone will ever compare mclusky and Prince.

Falco points out the absurdity of the crowd singing along to the outro refrain of "Our old singer is a sex criminal". It's so wrong, it's right. It also makes me wonder how the conversation went where the band agreed to change the lyric to "ex-criminal" for the radio edit.

11. The Digger You Deep

Another new one, and another balltearer. It swaggers unlike anything else in the set, and has these beautiful moments where the song hangs on a bent note, dangling out over the edge of a bar, before slamming back into the groove. It sounds like Future Of The Left, which is something you absolutely shouldn't tell Falco - apparently mclusky have already ditched songs from their forthcoming record because they sound more like Future Of The Left than mclusky. But it's a compliment, and let's face it - bits of The Difference Between Me and You Is That I'm Not on Fire totally sound like Future Of The Left. This is a good thing.

12. Et Tu, Edwards?

This new song moves at breakneck speed and sounds more mclusky-ish than the other two new ones. The crowd really got into to it.

13. You Should Be Ashamed, Seamus

The verse riff in this is one of my all time favourite mclusky riffs - it sounds like something Soundgarden rejected because it was actually too awesome and they were worried people wouldn't be able to handle how awesome it was. And the ending is insane. 

14. To Hell With Good Intentions

I embarrassed myself when interviewing Falco and called this song "Road To Hell", though I got the title right later in the interview. Idiot. 

This is the other big hit. I can still remember hearing this for the first time on triple j 21 years ago. The Bill Hicks reference in the first line grabbed me by the earholes, and I instantly fell in love with it.

15. Rice Is Nice

Wow this song is at least 24 years old now. Sayell's on the vocals. The only song they're playing from first album.

16. The Battle Of Los Angelsea 

Another new one, this time with Sayell on vocals. I honestly can't remember much about this one, but I distinctly remember wondering if it was a cover.

17. Alan Is A Cowboy Killer

A set highlight. But is Alan a killer of cowboys or a cowboy who kills? Answers in the comments please.

18. Gareth Brown Says

Falco opens this song by asking Julia to ensure their young daughter's ear defenders are on properly, and then reminds said daughter not to repeat anything Daddy says on stage in the playground unless it's really funny. Classic family entertainment, this song.

Anyway, the opening lines - "All your friends are cunts/Your mother is a ballpoint pen thief" - always remind me of this great piece Falco wrote about a job interview in which this song was brought up.

19. That Man Will Not Hang

After a short discussion between Falco and Eggleston (which is made hilariously difficult by Falco's ear defenders), Falco offers the audience a choice for the next song. Someone requests Joy, but Falco dismisses it, saying they were only going to play good songs, and the choice is an actual choice between That Man Will Not Hang and No Covers. We choose That Man Will Not Hang. No regrets.

20. Whoyouknow

Falco told me this is the only mclusky song he took into the rehearsal room already written. Amazingly, they only write songs all together in the rehearsal room. I've tried this and it takes fucking forever and no one ever has a good time and the results are usually shit. Though maybe that says more about me than anything. 

This is a surprisingly good set closer. It's main outro progression is one of those great cycle of chords that feels like it could be played forever.

So there you have it. I'm sure that was far from illuminating. Three Do Dallas songs didn't get played (No New Wave No Fun, Clique Application Form, and The World Loves Us And Is Our Bitch, for those of you playing along at home, four if you count the "secret" track Reviewing The Reviewers), but it doesn't really matter does it? Because they played 20 great songs, including four new ones, the 11 best songs off Do Dallas, four songs from their excellent third album, and one from their debut record.  

Here's hoping they come back with their new album.

Genie

This is a version of a review airing on ABC Victoria's Statewide Mornings program on December 7, 2023.

(PG) ★★

Director: Sam Boyd. 

Cast: Melissa McCarthy, Paapa Essiedu, Denée Benton, Jordyn McIntosh, Alan Cumming, Marc Maron, Luis Guzman.

"A podcast, you say? No way!"

Michael Mann remade his own telemovie LA Takedown as Heat. Michael Haneke made two versions of his film Funny Games, 10 years apart. Cecil B. Demille filmed The Ten Commandments twice, 33 years apart.

It happens more often than you think (here's a cool list with even more examples that I absolutely pilfered for my opening paragraph). Even Hitchcock did it.

We can add Richard Curtis to the list. His latest script Genie is an update of his 1991 telemovie Bernard & The Genie, which boasted the immaculate cast of Alan Cumming, Rowan Atkinson, and Lenny Henry (sidenote: Cumming returns, not as the hero this time, but the grumpy boss originally played by Atkinson).

In this new version, the titular wish-granter is played by Melissa McCarthy (not Lenny Henry), who is accidentally summoned by overworked museum curator Bernard (Essiedu) just as his wife and daughter are moving out and he loses his job. 

There are limitations to the Genie's powers, but Bernard will do all he can with his infinite wishes (it's not three in this version) to win his family back and find true happiness... just in time for Christmas.

Genie is like an old car. It takes a long time to warm up, and when it starts moving it's creaky and tired as we go through the rigmarole of yes, the Genie is real, and this is how wishes work. On top of this, McCarthy's Midwest accent doesn't exactly fit with her thousands-of-years-old backstory. The film's first half grates as the story's gears clunk and grind, wobbling all over the road.

Around the middle, a subplot involving an unwitting art theft takes the story in a strange yet interesting direction, and things speed up and get moving at a better pace. A midway scene involving Bernard's family getting a real Christmas wish is amusing too, and it helps to gain some goodwill for Bernard and the film itself.

Essiedu is also extremely likeable, which helps overcome the flat and lacklustre nature of the script. By the end, there's enough of a spark in proceedings to make it bearable, and the denouement satisfactory. Even McCarthy manages to make her role work - in fact, by the end she seems well suited to it, Midwestern accent not withstanding.

It's not great though. The jokes are soft and sparse, and there's no shaking the tiredness of it all - this is the thousandth genie fable, mixed with the thousandth family Christmas comedy-drama. The combination never feels fresh, instead it feels like the most the uninspiring pieces of each part. 

It's not bad enough to make you wish for your time back, but you won't be adding it to your list of favourite Christmas movies any time soon.

The Marvels

This is a version of a review airing on ABC Victoria's Statewide Mornings program on November 16, 2023.

(M) ★★★½

Director: Nia DiCosta.

Cast: Brie Larson, Teyonah Parris, Iman Vellani, Samuel L. Jackson, Zawe Ashton, Gary Lewis, Park Seo-joon, Zenobia Shroff, Mohan Kapur, Saagar Shaikh.

Hanging out in kids' bedrooms? Not cool, Captain Marvel.

All the headlines around The Marvels have been about its poor box office performance, which totally ignores how fun and entertaining this film is.

The reasons for the flop out of the gates are many, but the main one is surely a lack of promotion thanks to the actors' strike, which dulled the buzz of this worthy addition to the MCU. Had Larson, Parris and Vellani been able to hit the junket tour and showcase the great chemistry they share on screen, then maybe we'd have a different set of headlines.

Or maybe it's that now-legendary "superhero fatigue", a term that's been thrown around for the past decade, only to get quickly forgotten when the next amazing superhero movie rolls around.

But who cares? Despite its flaws, The Marvels is a hoot, and the kind of good-time superpowered jawn that hopefully stirs up some belated word-of-mouth buzz.

It centres on Carol Danvers AKA Captain Marvel (Larson), Ms Marvel (Vellani) and the steadfastly un-nicknamed Monica Rambeau (Parris - but she's Photon right? Or Spectrum?), who find their powers entangled after a run-in with a wormhole phenomena created by alien warrior Dar-Benn. As they investigate further, they discover they're in a race against time to stop Dar-Benn repairing her damaged homeworld at the expense of numerous other worlds, including Earth.

The Marvels ain't perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but it's fun, riding high on the interactions of its stars. If you haven't caught Disney+'s Ms Marvel series then you've been missing out on the bubbly delight that is Vellani, who brings her fan girl enthusiasm to all the best lines in the film. Combined with Larson and Parris, the trio make for a welcome delight.

Oddly, the film's villain is disappointing despite coming from the wonderful moral grey zone Marvel does so well. Like so many other MCU Big Bad, Dar-Benn believes what she is doing is the right thing (see also Namor, the High Evolutionary, Thanos etc...) and is compelling from that angle, but is sadly unmemorable and lacking in charisma, despite Ashton's best efforts.

The action is great, with the "entanglement" of the three Marvels' powers making for some neat CG trickery. The sillier moments are also excellent; better than the emotional beats. The cat-like flerkens are given a hilarious role while a wacky Bollywood-style dance number in the middle is nice, but the relationship between Danvers and Rambeau feels forced.

The combination of it all is unwieldy at times, but by-and-large The Marvels works. It's disappointing this film will be written off as an MCU flop because its superior to plenty of other entries in the franchise that fared better at the box office.

Killers Of The Flower Moon

This is a version of a review airing on ABC Victoria's Statewide Mornings program on November 2, 2023.

(M) ★★★½

Director: Martin Scorsese.

Cast: Leonardo DiCaprio, Robert De Niro, Lily Gladstone, Jesse Plemons, Tantoo Cardinal, John Lithgow, Brendan Fraser, Cara Jade Myers, JaNae Collins, Jillian Dion, Jason Isbell, William Belleau, Louis Cancelmi, Scott Shepherd, Everett Waller, Talee Redcorn, Yancey Red Corn, Tatanka Means, Tommy Schultz, Sturgill Simpson, Pete Yorn.

"Son, can you direct me to the nearest apothecary?"

Yep, it's long. Like really bloody long. Not quite as long as Scorsese's previous film The Irishman, but that was on Netflix so I could pause it when I needed to go to the toilet. You can't pause a cinema #bringbacktheintermission.

But it's good. Like really bloody good. Scorsese's knack for rich, nuanced storytelling that grows in the darker mud of humanity is unrivalled, and it's in full bloom here. Horrible people doing horrible things for horrible reasons, with the tempo dragging out the tension as we hope for comeuppances - yep, this is what Scorsese does well. 

Based on David Grann's acclaimed non-fiction book of the same name, Killers Of The Flower Moon stars DiCaprio as Ernest Buckhart, a somewhat dim-witted returning WWI veteran who ends up at the ranch of his uncle Bill Hale (De Niro) in Fairfax, Oklahoma. The region is rich with oil, all owned by the Native Americans of Osage County, making for a bizarre situation where the Native Americans have all the wealth, but are still treated like second-class citizens.

Ernest falls in love with Mollie Kyle (Gladstone), playing into the hands of his uncle, who aims to take over her family's oil rights by whatever means necessary. 

With solid performances all round, a fascinating story, and beautiful cinematography, this is a fine film, as you would come to expect from Scorsese, who hasn't made a bad film since the '90s. Ernest Buckhart is a largely unlikeable doofus committing unseemly crimes, but following him around as it all slowly comes apart is oddly enjoyable, even funny at times, despite the killing and depravity. 

But the problem really is the length and the pacing. The first two hours, while fascinating, are slow. It is beautiful and haunting at times, punctuated with increasing outbursts of violence, but it takes a long time to get where it's going, and it's really hard to shake the feeling it could have been shorter without sacrificing the beauty and the elegiac nature. 

Scorsese shows his typical reverence for his material and his subjects, particularly the Native Americans, their rituals, and their plight. He has collected a fine cast, his old friend, the dearly departed Robbie Robertson, delivers a haunting final score, and while the postscript of the film is odd, it demonstrates Scorsese's passion..

A long film is only bad when it feels long, and across its first two acts, Killers Of The Flower Moon feels long. But it's still a worthwhile journey, despite it taking a bloody long time to get where it's going.

Beckham

This is a version of a review airing on ABC Victoria's Statewide Mornings program on October 19, 2023.

(M) ★★★★

Director: Fisher Stevens.

"And then I kicked another goal. And after that, I kicked another goal...."

I know this sounds stupid, but the main thing I learnt from this four-part Netflix doco series was how great of a player David Beckham was. I honestly had no idea. I've only ever had a passing interest in soccer, mainly when the Socceroos or Matildas are in the World Cup. 

Beckham, to me, was a soccer player with a huge profile. He was tabloid fodder. He was married to a Spice Girl. He was good-looking enough to be an occasional model. I figured he must have been a half-decent player, but it never occurred to me he was one of the all-time greats.

So from that angle, this doco is fascinating. His rollercoaster career - the highs are remarkable and the lows even more stunning - makes for incredible and surprisingly emotional viewing. When you throw the off-the-pitch stuff into the mix - his romance with Victoria Beckham, the relentless paparazzi, his topsy-turvy relationship with the public - it makes for a heady combination of glamour and glory.

It would be hard to mess up this treasure trove of content and thankfully Stevens' doesn't. His unrivalled access and all-star cast of talking heads really sell it, capped off by some canny editing by Michael Harte. The deeply personal nature of it all is amplified by moments where interviewees look seemingly right down the barrel to watch replays of football matches, capturing their reactions in intimate detail.

This intimacy is evident in the level of control Posh & Becks have over it all. They're using the doco series as therapy - Victoria Beckham admits as much towards the end - but they brush past some things and lean into other moments. The affair allegations get a mention, but its brief and the "other woman" Rebecca Loos is never named, let alone interviewed. The whole thing is only as intimate as the Beckhams will allow, and while it's remarkably candid, it's still somewhat stage-managed.

But it's ultimately fascinating, not just as a summation of a remarkable football career, but as a study of tabloid media gone wild. Part-therapy and part-brand reclamation on the part of its subjects, it's nonetheless a riveting insight into a pop culture phenomenon and an intriguing study of sporting prowess.