"Everyone stop what you're doing - it's time for the dancing girls." |
Movie, music and TV reviews by Matt Neal, a Rotten Tomatoes-accredited ABC Radio film critic (also an author, musician, journalist and all-round okay guy).
Friday, 24 September 2021
REWIND REVIEW: Death At A Funeral (2007)
Shang-Chi & The Legend Of The Ten Rings
(M) ★★★½
Director: Destin Daniel Cretton.
Cast: Simu Liu, Tony Leung, Awkwafina, Meng'er Zhang, Fala Chen, Florian Munteanu, Benedict Wong, Michelle Yeoh, Ben Kingsley, Ronny Chieng, Yuen Wah, Jodi Long.
Scorpion vs Subzero right? |
Sunday, 19 September 2021
AFI #43: Midnight Cowboy (1969)
This is part of a series of articles reviewing the American Film Institute's Top 100 Films, as unveiled in 2007. Why am I doing this? Because the damned cinemas were closed and I had to review something, and now I can't stop until I finish.
(M) ★★★★★
Director: John Schlesinger.
The candidates for the new season of The Bachelor left something to be desired. |
Sunday, 12 September 2021
UFOs and stuff
So last year, while deep in the midst of lockdown, I stumbled across a long forgotten book on my bookshelf, which began taking up an inordinate amount of space in my brain.
This book, about a long-forgotten Australian alien abduction case from the '90s, formed the basis of an episode of my podcast, an article I wrote for the ABC, and a chat I had with an American podcast. So I thought I'd collate all these things together in one handy place.
The book is called Encounter and it's by Kelly Cahill. It documents her claims about her run-in with aliens - an event known in UFOlogy circles as the Eumemmering Creek encounter. For a while, it was heralded as the holy grail of UFO encounters because it purported to have numerous independent witnesses.
I compiled my research and interviews into this episode of my "hilarious yet informative" podcast, Can You Believe It?.
I also wrote it up in this article for the ABC, which is my most read article to date. People loved the shit out of it for reasons I can't quite explain.
As a result of all this, I was interviewed by the guys from Camp ReEducation, a cool American podcast, which was super fun.
And if you would prefer to watch that as a video:
This will keep you busy for the next three hours.
AFI #42: Bonnie & Clyde (1967)
This is part of a series of articles reviewing the American Film Institute's Top 100 Films, as unveiled in 2007. Why am I doing this? Because the damned cinemas were closed and I had to review something, and now I can't stop until I finish.
(M) ★★★★★
Director: Arthur Penn.
Cast: Warren Beatty, Faye Dunaway, Michael J. Pollard, Gene Hackman, Estelle Parsons, Denver Pyle, Dub Taylor, Gene Wilder, Evans Evans.
"Could you please direct us to the nearest Bunnings?" |
There is Hollywood before Bonnie & Clyde, and Hollywood after Bonnie & Clyde.
Wednesday, 8 September 2021
Revisiting my first review, 20 years on - The Animal (2001) starring Rob Schneider
(M) ★★
Director: Luke Greenfield.
Cast: Rob Schneider, Colleen Haskell, John C. McGinley, Guy Torry, Edward Asner, Michael Caton, Louis Lombardi.
That's gunna leave a stain. |
Back in July 2001, I scored a full-time job at a newspaper. In between covering general news, weekend footy and the local music scene, I hinted to my editor that I wouldn't mind having a crack at movie reviews - a job the editor himself did.
Lo and behold, on September 6, 2001, my editor graciously allowed me to take his spot at the cinema for the week. I soon found out why - the new Rob Schneider movie was screening, and my editor obviously decided he couldn't be bothered with that shit.
Two days later - September 8 - my very first film review was published. I have no recollection of the movie whatsoever, which probably says more about my memory than the movie itself. Or both. Also, something kinda world-changing happened three days after my review was published, which takes up way more space in my brain than The Animal.
Anyway, here's the review. Let's see how it stacks up, 20 years on.
***
It's hard for a film to run on the strength of just one joke. The Animal, the latest vehicle for ex-Saturday Night Live regular Rob Schneider, tries to go the distance on it's man-acting-like-an-animal gag, but unfortunately the laughs wear thin early on into the film.
Clunky start but not too bad. "...the laughs wear thin quickly" would be a far more concise final clause of that paragraph.
Schneider plays Marvin Mange, a hopeless loser aiming to emulate his father by becoming a policeman, but constantly falling short through his own incompetence and inadequacies.
No quips about the dumb character name? Shame on me.
Marvin's life gets turned on its head when he is critically injured in a spectacular and mildly amusing car accident and is brought back to life thanks to the efforts of deranged scientist Dr Wilder (played by The Castle star Michael Caton).
The nutty doctor uses animal organs to rebuild Marvin, giving the wannabe cop the powers and skills necessary to gain him fame as a super-policeman, including a sense of smell that would put a sniffer dog to shame.
Of course, his animal instincts get a little out of control, and Marvin finds himself on the run, suspected of attacking a hunter and mauling two cows.
Throw in the compulsory love interest, an animal lover named Rianna (Survivor castaway Colleen Haskell in her big-screen debut) and you've got the makings of a light-hearted comedy, albeit a one-joke light-hearted comedy.
This is way too much plot summary and not enough review. I think I was given a whole page to fill, and boy, was I gonna fill it.
The Animal doesn't quite make the grade. While it has its moments, it walks a thin line between full-on gross out humour and Dumb & Dumber-style stupidity, only occasionally getting the laughs it's obviously aiming for.
I'm not sure "walks a thin line" is the right phrase. Also it's a pretty tired cliché. Do better, me.
Schneider, who co-wrote the script, is likeable as Marvin, but ultimately he's let down by his own screenplay. A few inspired sight gags and some memorable scenes, including one involving an angry mob, are actually funny. However, The Animal falls flat a lot of the time, occasionally bordering on tasteless, particularly one part of the film where Marvin finds himself sexually attracted to a goat.
This could all be said with far fewer words. But at last I'm starting to make my point. And it's not every day you get to write in the local paper about someone being sexually attracted to a goat. A horse on the other hand....
The script is particularly ordinary towards the end of the film, when everything gets wrapped up way too quickly, and rather stupidly, thanks to an unfunny running gag.
However the cast performances are fine and there are some interesting characters, particularly the hero's two best friends and the slightly insane Dr Wilder. Caton was asked to play the deranged scientist by Schneider and executive producer Adam Sandler after they saw his performance in The Castle.
What's with the out-of-nowhere factoid? This could have been dropped in there a lot better.
Haskell is also good as leading lady Rianna, well suited to the light-hearted nature of the film, though it will be interesting to see where her Survivor fame takes her.
Update: Haskell quit showbiz not long after this film.
The Animal's slightly undergraduate humour is sure to find an audience and no doubt there are people out there who would find it amusing to watch Rob Schneider hump a mailbox in a police uniform, but one joke doesn't make a comedy.
I suspect the word "slightly" is unnecessary in this par, though that sounds like my writing.
***
It's a pretty bland review that could be far tighter, but it's not as terrible as I'd expected. I'm surprised I didn't sink the boots into it, and having just watched the trailer, I suspect the film was utter shite but I was too afraid to slate it. Probably thought I had to keep my powder dry on my first outing. Hopefully I've improved. Thanks for joining me on this trip down memory lane.
Tuesday, 7 September 2021
AFI #40: The Sound Of Music (1965)
This is part of a series of articles reviewing the American Film Institute's Top 100 Films, as unveiled in 2007. Why am I doing this? Because the damned cinemas were closed and I had to review something, and now I can't stop until I finish.
Director: Robert Wise
Cast: Julie Andrews, Christopher Plummer, Eleanor Parker, Richard Haydn, Peggy Wood, Charmian Carr, Nicholas Hammond, Heather Menzies, Duane Chase, Angela Cartwright, Debbie Turner, Kym Karath, Anna Lee, Portia Nelson, Ben Wright, Daniel Truhitte, Gil Stuart.
"Some of those that were enforcers, are the same that burn crosses..." |
Christopher Plummer famously hated The Sound Of Music. Despite it being the movie that made him famous and the one that served as the main point of reference in his media obituaries earlier this year, he called it "so awful and sentimental and gooey" and "an albatross around my neck", preferring to title it "The Sound of Mucus".