X-Men: Dark Phoenix

(M) ★★

Director: Simon Kinberg.

Cast: Sophie Turner, James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence, Nicholas Hoult, Tye Sheridan, Alexandra Shipp, Kodi Smit-McPhee, Evan Peters, Jessica Chastain.

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Partway through production of Dark Phoenix, it became increasingly likely that Disney would acquire 20th Century Fox's intellectual properties, thus returning the X-Men to the Marvel fold, and making this the final chapter of the X-Men Cinematic Universe.

Across 12 films, the XCU (no one calls it that, but I'm going to) has had more good films than bad. Along the way, we've met (at least) two versions of pretty much every merry mutant, thanks in part to some clever time travel-aided rebooting in Days Of Future Past.

With this kind of tricky rehashing (mutating?) going on, it's perhaps fitting we're getting a second version of the Dark Phoenix saga, which is considered one of the most important comic book stories of all time. Previously botched badly in X-Men: The Last Stand, this version had the opportunity to right past wrongs and send the series out on celebratory victory lap.

It was not to be. They've messed it up again, which makes it doubly bad. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, fuck you Simon Kinberg.

Dark Phoenix follows mutant superhero Jean Grey (Turner), a psychic mutant hit by a massively powerful force during a daring space rescue with her fellow X-Men. This powerful force dramatically changes Jean, shifting her moral compass and making her stronger than any mutant ever before. This sets her on a collision course with her mutant colleagues. Do they dare stand against their friend?

The problem is not so much the story but the way it's told. In Last Stand (which was co-written by Kinberg), the Jean Grey part was given very short-shrift by wedging it in with a version of Joss Whedon's "mutant cure" narrative from the Gifted comicbook storyline. This could have worked if told better; the stories are reasonably complimentary.

In Dark Phoenix, Jean Grey's arc is front and centre, but it's still so unsatisfying. Perhaps we've been spoilt by the MCU's ability to tweak the superhero genre to repeatedly find new angles, but XCU #12 feels cliched and boring. It's bland and emotionless, which is baffling - they do what should be a very dramatic thing to a much-loved character and it feels not only expected, but lacklustre and, to quote Lisa Simpson, "meh".

The film's inability to summon any pathos, passion or heart is best exemplified by this scene, but it's a common feeling throughout, even right from the opening sequence (which bears a resemblance to the recent DCEU film Shazam). And if they can't get us to feel for any of the characters, particularly Jean Grey, then there is no real hope for the film because it's trying so hard to tug on our heartstrings.

The only silver lining comes from some great set pieces where the mutant abilities are on full display, most notably in the train-bound conclusion and in a free-for-all in a New York street. These sequences, while not as memorable as the best of the series, are still excellent, well thought-out and exciting.

(For the record, those best scenes are basically Nightcrawler's White House attack in X2 and Quicksilver's kitchen scene in Days Of Future Past.)

The only other ray of sunshine in this otherwise turgid mess is the veteran cast. Fassbender, McAvoy, Hoult and Lawrence give their all, for little return. They at least lend gravitas to a film that would have been far worse without their presence.

The same can't be said for Turner and Sheridan. As the theoretical lead couple, they are a disappointment and not up to the challenge, but they're done a grave disservice by an insipid script that fails to build empathy for the characters of Jean Grey and Cyclops before throwing them into a cataclysmic disruption that is devoid of heart. Meanwhile Chastain does her best with an average role, and Shipp and Smit-McPhee are good in drastically underwritten roles.

Kinberg has to shoulder the blame for this disappointing farewell to the XCU, not least because he's the writer and director. But having co-written the mess of X-Men: Last Stand, and then redeeming himself by finding a way through the potentially convoluted mess of Days Of Future Past, Dark Phoenix makes it look like he hasn't learnt from either his failures or his successes. The reality is though that maybe this was too much for him to bite off as his directorial debut.

Whatever the reason, this is not the finale the XCU deserved.