50 Shades Of Grey

(MA15+) ★★★

Director: Sam Johnson-Taylor.

Cast: Dakota Johnson, Jamie Dornan, Eloise Mumford, Max Martini, Jennifer Ehle, Marcia Gay Harden.

"... three, two, one, okay, ready or not, here I come!"

I CAN'T believe I'm saying this, but the film adaptation of Fifty Shades Of Grey is far better than it has any right to be. Don't get me wrong - it's not great. But it's not terrible, which is what I was honestly expecting.

Given that the source material is a novel that began life as a piece of kinky Twilight fan fiction which was "dull and poorly written" (New York Times), "a sad joke" (Huffington Post), and "made Twilight look like War & Peace" (Sir Salman Rushdie), and which I've regularly heard derided as rubbish by people who've read it, my hopes were not high.

So it's a pleasant surprise that the film version of a book that spawned the term "mommy porn" and did more to boost handcuff sales than a police-themed dress-up party is reasonably solid, especially for a movie that is essentially plotless.

That's the main issue here because otherwise Fifty Shades of Grey is beautifully shot, well performed, occasionally funny, and weirdly intriguing. But the thrust (ahem) of its story is basically "boy meets girl, boy whips girl, the end".

There are lines of dialogue that hit the ground harder than a broken bed ("I'm 50 shades of f**ked up," says Christian Grey in all seriousness as if that's a common phrase), and the film edges into melodrama too often. It's also tempting to criticise its tendency to mistake "creepy" for "romantic" but I figured that was kind of the point of the whole thing. After all this is a film that exchanges love for whips and chains, and has two confused characters trying to meet somewhere in the middle.

Instead of a plot, we get a character study of a shy girl-next-door-type named Anastasia Steele (Johnson) and a sensitive-new-age-Patrick-Bateman-type called Christian Grey (Dornan), as well as an exploration of the sexual world of dominants and submissives.

Johnson is great and it's her performance that's the most impressive aspect of the film, given that it's her character's conflict that drags you along. Ana's transformation from Plain Jane Wallflower into someone who is questioning what they want and what they're willing to sacrifice to get it is compelling, as is her balance between naivety and inner strength.

Dornan is less impressive but could have been worse considering how poorly written his character is in places - given the strangeness of the subject matter (man wants woman to be his contracted sex slave) it's no wonder the script creaks under the weight of trying to explain his motives while keeping him likeable.

For all the film's faults, I can't help but feel that if this was subtitled and in Polish or French or something, then critics would be losing their collective shit over it, awarding it four and five stars for its examination of unconventional sexual peccadilloes, un-Hollywood-like denouement, and its eschewing of traditional plot techniques in favour of character exploration and inner personal journeys.

While I was totally prepared to unleash my poison pen at this film, I have to admit that was probably premeditated snobbery on my part and I can't help but wonder how many of the bad reviews it receives will be because of critics unwilling to concede it's not that bad.

Let me reiterate - it's not great. It's a bit hit and miss and it's climax (sorry) will leave some perplexed. It's definitely not as sexy or as explicit as people might think it to be, but again, I figured that was kind of the point. This is about a relationship that is basically contractually agreed-upon domestic violence.

The writers and director have dug through what was essentially an elongated Penthouse Letter Of The Month and come up with a disturbingly engaging tale about loss of innocence that serves as an allegory for spousal abuse, and in that sense, it's an intriguing film.

Or am I missing the point?

Kingsman: The Secret Service

(MA15+) ★★★½

Director: Matthew Vaughn

Cast: Taron Egerton, Colin Firth, Mark Strong, Samuel L Jackson, Sophie Cookson, Sofia Boutella, Michael Caine.

Firth knew he would regret coming to Bridget Jones Con 2014, and he was right.

REMEMBER when James Bond films used to be a bit bonkers?

It was back in a time before The Bourne Identity hit cinemas and changed the genre forever and before Daniel Craig re-invented the 007 mantle in a trio of excellent (except for Quantum of Solace) but oh-so-serious instalments of the superspy series.

Those were the days when villains had insane plans for world domination and henchmen with bizarrely useful physical attributes. Those were the days when literally anything could hide a weapon and when watches did far more than just tell the time. Those were the days when there was always a big clock counting down to armageddon and when faceless baddies couldn't shoot straight.

Kingsman: The Secret Service remembers those times and misses them dearly. It imagines an alternate history where Colin Firth was picked to play Bond instead of Pierce Brosnan and where modern movie sensibilities merged with the sense of fun found in the Connery and Moore days.

Firth is the Bond-like agent Harry Hart, codenamed Galahad and member of the ultra-secret group the Kingsman, who is charged with investigating the death of a fellow Kingsman and to put forth a candidate as a replacement.

The possible new guy (aka audience surrogate) is a young geezer from the wrong side of the tracks named Eggsy (played by coincidentally named newcomer Egerton), whose father was a Kingsman that Hart owes a debt of gratitude to.

If Eggsy can survive the recruitment process, he might just get a chance to save the world from the clutches of lisping tech billionaire Richmond Valentine (Jackson).

It's all reasonably formulaic but then that's the point - first and foremost, Kingsman: The Secret Service walks a fine line between spoof, homage and rip-off of the 007 series, so when it does deviate from what we expect (which only happens a couple of times) it actually packs a punch, which is nice.

When it's not winking at the audience with its over-the-top ridiculousness and the occasional John Barry-esque musical cue, it embraces a style all its own that sits somewhere between its comic book origins and the hyperactive editing style of modern action movies. The difference here is that we can actually see what's going on - the stylised cinematography enhances rather than gets in the way of the action.

And there is plenty of action, and the film doesn't just wear its MA15+ rating lightly. Unlike 007, Kingsman revels in getting its hands bloody and dropping a few F-bombs along the way.

But that's half the fun of the film. When was the last time we heard Michael Caine call someone a "f**king prick" or saw Firth kill a large number of people in a matter of minutes? The answer is "probably never" (unless you go to more interesting parties than I do) and it's part of what makes this such a ludicrous guilty pleasure.

Kingsman is Vaughn's second adaptation of a Mark Millar comic but it is a far looser take than Kick-Ass. It does share some similarities beyond the presence of the always dependable Mark Strong - notably the gleeful silliness, the genre subversion that's going on, and the love of a well placed bullet or curse word.

After all, it's not every film that features heads that explode in a mixture of fireworks meet mushroom clouds.

But that's the kind of thing that Kingsman revels in and it's the kind of thing that will make you see this as either an enjoyable frivolity or an absurd disappointment.


I'm going with the former.

Into The Woods

(PG) ★★★

Director: Rob Marshall.

Cast: Meryl Streep, Emily Blunt, James Corden, Anna Kendrick, Chris Pine, Daniel Huttlestone, Lilla Crawford.

"Nothin' suss," said Johnny Depp, who had apparently fallen on hard times and become a furry.

CROSSOVERS are a big deal these days, especially in superhero films - Batman will battle Superman, Iron Man and Captain America team up with the rest of the Avengers, and the old X-Men meet the new X-Men.

But before there were comic book characters, there were fairy tales, where similarly fantastical beings and magical happenings collided in a world where good hopefully triumphed over evil.

So why not have a crossover with all your favourite fairy tales and mash them up into one mega-Disney musical?

That's the idea behind Into The Woods, the big-screen version of the long-running Broadway play written by Stephen Sondheim and James Lapine, where the narratives of Rapunzel, Cinderella, Jack & The Beanstalk and Little Red Riding Hood intersect in weird and wondrous ways.

Central to the tale is The Baker (Corden) and his wife (Blunt) - a childless couple who discover the reason for their inability to breed is a hex placed on The Baker's family by the neighbourhood witch (Streep). In order to reverse the curse, they must collect four ingredients, setting in motion a chain of events that will forever change their faraway kingdom.

Meanwhile, Cinderella (Kendrick) wants to go to the ball to meet the prince (Pine), Red Riding Hood (Crawford) is being harassed on the way to Grandma's house by a wolf (a creepy cameo from Johnny Depp), Jack (Huttlestone) is on his way to market to sell his beloved cow, and Rapunzel (MacKenzie Mauzy) is destined to meet a prince of her own (Billy Magnussen).

The first half of the film is whimsically silly, filled with airy songs, light-hearted gags and nothing more serious than a whole bunch of characters seeking their hearts desires as their paths intersect in the titular forest.

The second half is a decidedly darker affair with a distinctly different tone, as if it's flown in from the next theatre over. While the latter half of the film is the more interesting and thought-provoking of the two halves, it sits awkwardly with the first half, making for a disjointed and slightly off-putting whole that doesn't quite work together.

Fortunately there are excellent performances and some good humour along the way to make it all go down a little bit more smoothly. Blunt and Corden are great - their song delivery is fantastic, but their comic timing is even better, while Kendrick is as charming as any fairytale prince.

The film's actual Prince Charming - Pine - almost accidentally steals the show with the song Agony, the only out-and-out hilarious number, while Streep is at her usual level of brilliance, relishing the eccentricities of her witchy role.

Everyone does their darnedest to hold this misshapen mash-up together, but no amount of good acting, quality singing and clever songs can cover the fact it feels less like a crossover and more like two movies stuck together.

If maybe there was more darkness in the first half, or more light in the second, then Into The Woods wouldn't feel so clumsily crafted.

Unbroken

(M) ★★★

Director: Angelina Jolie.

Cast: Jack O'Connell, Takamasa Ishihara, Domhnall Gleeson, Garrett Hedlund, Jai Courtney.

The race was going so well until Jack was attacked by a giant ribbon.

WAR is hell, but few soldiers endured as much purgatory and perdition as Louis Zamperini.

As such, his story is a compelling one that shows just how much the human spirit and body can endure. Unfortunately this tale of survival has little else to offer beyond its tale of survival.

It begins with Zamperini's time in the US Air Force during WWII, dipping in and out of bombing raids to recall his pre-war life in Torrance, California, as a troubled kid who turns his life around and becomes an Olympic runner.

But one fateful mission over the Pacific Ocean indirectly lands Zamperini in a prisoner of war camp, with the experiences that follow best likened to Dante's Inferno and its many layers of hell.

Largely unknown English actor O'Connell gives a breakout performance as the ill-fated runner/soldier, effectively portraying the pain, stoicism and large emotional range the role requires.

But it's certainly no fault of O'Connell's that we don't get a clear understanding of what made Zamperini tick. That fault lies with the script, which is so focused on its events that it forgets to give us much in the way of characters.

As a result, Zamperini is portrayed as little more than "the guy that survived" - we get no sense of what he was like as a man beyond the fact that his spirit was "unbreakable" and that he was a fairly decent guy. We are left with no idea about what really drove him and kept him going through such horrific experiences, and even less of an idea about his fellow POWs, whose names we barely even get to know.

Because of this it's a while before we gain any real empathy or context for characters, despite them enduring some terrible things.

An audience is always going to care more about people if they get to know them, but there is little in the way of introductions or development for these POWs. It's really only the relentless weight of their suffering that allows the film to break through emotionally, and as such it feels like Unbroken sells its subjects short.

This is certainly no fault of the cast, who acquit themselves well, especially O'Connell but also Ishihara as POW camp commander Mutsuhiro "Bird" Watanabe, who conveys the right amount of repulsiveness in his turn.

It's hard to fault Jolie's direction too much either. The film takes a little while to get going but moves at a decent pace in its latter half. She also avoids making the necessary violence gratuitous, while Roger Deakins' cinematography (which has earnt him an Oscar nomination) gives the film a classy look.

The problem lies with the script and its "events, not characters" approach. The film is not filled with scintillating dialogue or amazing set pieces - although the opening aerial dog fight is pretty cool and the Olympic sequence is done well - but without character depth to drive the necessary emotional punch we are left with little more beyond an hour of hardship.

The film is certainly worth a look as it's a compelling story, but you will walk away knowing what happened to Zamperini, and not who Zamperini really was.

The Imitation Game

(M) ★★★★

Director: Morten Tyldum.

Cast: Benedict Cumberbatch, Keira Knightley, Matthew Goode, Mark Strong, Charles Dance, Allen Leech, Matthew Beard, Rory Kinnear.

"Good Lord, I've cracked the Enigma code."
"What does it say?"
"'New phone. Who dis?'"

CERTAIN things happen when true stories get turned into films.

Real people become characters with easily defined and exaggerated traits, while real events get condensed, altered and just plain made up in order to make the realities of life fit more easily into the typical three-act structure and dramatic tension we expect in a movie.

The Imitation Game is a perfect example of that, and therein lies the film's only weakness - by squeezing this story of World War II codebreakers into the required formula, it tends to feel contrived, relying on clichés to tick the necessary narrative boxes.

But otherwise, this is a powerful and fascinating fictionalised account of the life of computing pioneer and bona fide genius Alan Turing, driven by Cumberbatch's engrossing performance in the lead role.

Skipping back and forth between three time periods, the story examines Turing's formative school years, his work cracking the Nazi's Enigma code during WWII, and his later persecution for being a homosexual in an era when such a thing was still illegal in the UK.

The main focus is the war years, where Turing is portrayed as having an Asperger's-like demeanour that puts him at odds with his fellow codebreakers (played by Knightley, Goode, Leech and Beard) as he struggles to build the machine that he believes will break the code and help win the war.

It's Cumberbatch's performance that dominates and powers the film. He is utterly mesmerising and, among a growing collection of excellent turns, this is his finest to date.

Also great and potentially in career-best form is Knightley, whose role as fellow cryptanalyst and Turing's fiancée Joan Clarke is overshadowed by Cumberbatch but no less important or impressive despite its comparative lack of dramatic fireworks. A top-notch supporting cast, particularly Goode, Strong and Dance, round things out nicely.

In general this is a fantastic story well told. With its themes of secrets and what defines a person, set against a backdrop of WWII intrigue and topped off with a sadly real coda about the persecution of homosexuals in a less enlightened time, The Imitation Game is packed with plenty of interesting ideas and plot elements.

Where it falls down is in its overly obvious efforts to fit the true story into something resembling the traditional flow of a movie. As a result we are left with such tired clichés as a race against the clock, a eureka moment, and an "if he goes, I go" speech, all of which genuinely feel out of place and lead to some moments of ham-fisted melodrama that are only saved because the cast is so damned good.

There's also the non-linear presentation, which creates some pacing issues and strangely timed reveals as the plot dives in and out of Turing's school years, war years, and post-war years.

At least Tyldum (best known for the Norwegian actioner Headhunters) and cinematographer Oscar Faura (The Impossible) give each period a subtly different look, and the direction overall is effective, even if its occasional brief war sequences are largely unnecessary.

Generally though, The Imitation Game is impressive, particularly due to Cumberbatch and Knightley and the highs and lows of Turing's truly remarkable life.

Penguins Of Madagascar

(G) ★★★

Director: Eric Darnell & Simon J Smith.

Cast: (voices of) Tom McGrath, Chris Miller, Christopher Knights, Conrad Vernon, Benedict Cumberbatch, John Malkovich, Ken Jeong, Annet Mahendru, Peter Stormare.

The Wandering Sea Chicken is renowned for its chameleonic abilities.

THERE'S always been something pleasantly average about the Madagascar films.

They've never packed the emotional punch of Up or one of the Toy Stories, they've never been as deep as the How To Train You Dragon movies or The Incredibles, and they've never been as funny as the early Shreks or Monsters Inc.

Instead, the Madagascar franchise has simply coasted along on its wacky charms and a healthy dose of way-over-the-top slapstick. Spin-off film Penguins Of Madagascar is very much cut from the same cloth. There is little in the way of deeper themes or big ideas - just plenty of enjoyable silliness, bad puns, and inventive set-pieces.

The focus is on the waddling quartet of Skipper, Kowalski, Rico and Private, who were side characters but scene-stealers in the Madagascar trilogy thanks to their ad hoc militaristic approach to everything.

Set in the wake of Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted, the feathered foursome stage a daring raid on Fort Knox where they come face-to-face with their hitherto unknown nemesis Dave The Octopus (Malkovich), who is hell-bent on ridding the world's zoos of penguins.

While the penguins are keen to stop Dave, so is The North Wind - "an elite undercover inter-species taskforce dedicated to helping animals that can't help themselves" - and Skipper and co find themselves battling The North Wind as much as their eight-legged foe.

Naturally there's a "work together" motif here, but it's minimal. The filmmakers are more interested in absurd sightgags (penguins in lederhosen or riverdancing), insane action sequences (penguins hijacking a Venetian canoe to escape evil octopuses), and some terrible puns involving actors' names (which will go right over the kids' heads and aren't even that funny anyway).

It's a good thing the penguins themselves are so likeable and well voiced because the film is an empty vessel making a lot of noise otherwise. McGrath, Miller, Knights and Vernon voice their characters well, with the lead birds of Skipper and Kowalski getting all the best lines.

Strangely, given the talent involved, Dave The Octopus (Malkovich) and North Wind leader Agent Classified (Cumberbatch) seem miscast - their voices just don't seem quite right for the characters, possibly due to Malkovich and Cumberbatch really underplaying things. It's a minor quibble really, because they're not that bad, but you would just expect more from two such charismatic performers. And why isn't more made of the fact that Cumberbatch can't actually pronounce the word "penguin" properly (Google it if you don't believe me)?

There is nothing necessarily wrong with Penguins Of Madagascar - it's just merely a bright and noisy diversion rather than being truly great all-ages entertainment like Big Hero 6 or just about any Pixar film.

In fact, there is a spy-movie undertone here similar to Cars 2, which happens to be the only bad film in the Pixar back catalogue, but it has to be said that Penguins Of Madagascar does it better.

If nothing else, that's a win, but really this film just continues the Madagascar franchise trend of being pleasantly average.

Big Hero 6

(PG) ★★★★

Director: Don Hall & Chris Williams.

Cast: (voices of) Ryan Potter, Scott Adsit, Daniel Henney, TJ Miller, Jamie Chung, Damon Wayans Jr, Genesis Rodriguez, Maya Rudolph, James Cromwell, Alan Tudyk.

Sometimes you just need a big goalie, not necessarily a good goalie.

DISNEY is on a roll with its computer animated films.

Tangled, Wreck-It Ralph, and Frozen have helped put the House of Mouse back on the animation map after more than a decade of so-so releases.

You can add the name Big Hero 6 to that Pixar-like run of excellent adventures, and while it you're at it you can put the name "Baymax" on the lengthy list of memorable and lovable Disney characters.

Based very, very loosely on a little-known Marvel comic, Big Hero 6 is the tale of Hiro Hamada (Potter), a 14-year-old robotics genius who lives in the quasi-futuristic city of San Fransokyo and spends most of his time gambling on (and winning) illegal streetbot fights.

His older brother Tadashi (Henney), concerned that Hiro is wasting his talents, introduces Hiro to the robotics lab where Tadashi works at university and gets the younger Hamada excited about using his skills for a greater purpose.

But when tragedy strikes, Hiro and his friends must team up to solve a mystery, catch a bad guy and save the day.

It may sound fairly formulaic and, as a superhero story, Big Hero 6 certainly hits all the notes we've come to expect from those kind of origin tales. However, there is much more to this film than hyper-powered individuals belting seven shades of snot out of each other.

At its heart, it's a story about grief and loss - there's an interesting juxtaposition between how the good guy and bad guy wander into the grey areas between right and wrong as they each struggle to deal with the death of a loved one. There's also a nice spin on the old "with great power comes great responsibility" line - in this case there's a bit of "with great intelligence comes great responsibility" thrown into the mix.

But as much as Big Hero 6 is a celebration of the mind (most of the main characters are self-confessed "nerds"), there is a lot of heart to go with the head. There are a couple of really sweet moments here, including some tearjerkers, and Hiro is a relatable and endearing (ahem) hero.

But the stand-out character is Baymax (Adsit), the inflatable robot built by Tadashi as a medical assistant, who serves as audience surrogate, comic relief, moral compass, straight man, action centrepiece, and even emotional core to the movie.

Whether he's taping up his punctures, losing power, doing karate, helping the sick and injured, or simply trying to walk around a room, Baymax is a scene-stealing sidekick who pretty much runs off with the whole movie.

In terms of family fun, Big Hero 6 is a real winner. There are laughs, great set-pieces, and deeper layers beneath the fast-moving bright colours to ensure this is ideal for all ages.