Air (2023)

This is a version of a review airing on ABC Radio across regional Victoria on April 27, 2023.

(M) ★★★★

Director: Ben Affleck.

Cast: Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, Jason Bateman, Marlon Wayans, Chris Messina, Chris Tucker, Viola Davis, Matthew Maher, Julius Tennon.

"It looks blue now, but get it away from these blue lights and... it's still blue."

Air answers two very important questions: "Can you make an entire film about a shoe?" and "Can you make a film about Michael Jordan without really having Michael Jordan in it?".

In the hands of director Affleck, the answer is a resounding "yes" to both questions. So the next round of questions becomes "Why make an entire film about a shoe?" and "Why make a film about Michael Jordan without really having Michael Jordan in it?".

To put it simply, the shoe in question is more than just a shoe. Not since Cinderella has a shoe played a more pivotal role in something. This is a shoe that made the '80s - it changed an industry, shaped a sport, warped popular culture, and helped make a man into an icon before he became a legend.

Air is the story of Nike's efforts to court and sign then-NBA rookie Michael Jordan. While you can file this in the "I Know How It Ends" basket alongside Titanic, this Moneyball-like drama milks every ounce of tension, humour and pathos out of its tale of The Little Shoe Company That Could.

Affleck takes Jordan out of this film as much as possible to focus on everyone else who helped create the must-have fashion accessory of the '80s. While it could be distracting, it's a smart directorial choice, helping keep Damon's basketball guru Sonny Vaccaro front and centre, while also subtly playing into the mythic nature of His Airness.

Damon's great as the unlikely hero, and well supported by his buddy Affleck, Bateman, the rarely seen Tucker, a sweary Messina, and a scene-stealing Davis as the quietly spoken Mrs Deloris Jordan. The cast can't be faulted, even if their characters are sketched thin. It's tempting to remark "it's just a shoe" repeatedly throughout the film, but that's because the protagonists' motivations are somewhat obscure and the stakes seem sadly low. Are they doing this because it's their job? It's not like Nike will go under if they don't sign Jordan and make a shoe for him - it's just that history will be different.

Yet the script keeps your interest, dragging you along to the inevitable. Because in the end it's about history - it's about a weird moment in our popular culture where a group of oddly dedicated men chased a dream and re-shaped our reality. And that's Air - it's about the inevitability of history and making dreams reality. Jordan was always going to be a phenomenon, and a sport star was always going to transcend their sport in a way that altered pop culture. Air celebrates the team who were smart enough to see history's wave before it broke, and then surfed it all the way to the bank.

A bangin' '80s soundtrack and some somewhat gratuitous prop placement ("Hey look it's that game/cereal/ad from the '80s") help sell the vibe of it all. And that vibe is about fun. If there are two things that the '80s were really all about, it was having a good time and making a metric fuckton of money. In that sense, Air is the perfect '80s movie.

Inspired by The Last Dance, Air serves as a perfect entrée to that acclaimed Netflix doco series. But best of all, Affleck has done a Moneyball/The Big Short; he's taken something esoteric and niche and made it enjoyable light entertainment for the world at large. 

The Super Mario Bros. Movie (2023)

This is a version of a review airing on ABC Radio across regional Victoria on April 13, 2023.

(PG) ★★★

Director: Aaron Horvath & Michael Jelenic.

Cast: (voices of) Chris Pratt, Anya Taylor-Joy, Charlie Day, Jack Black, Keegan-Michael Key, Seth Rogen, Fred Armisen, Sebastian Maniscalco, Kevin Michael Richardson, Charles Martinet.

Tripping. Fucking. Balls.

Let's get the voice thing out of the way. If you want to get pissed off about this movie purely because Chris Pratt doesn't sound like Mario from the games ie. a bad Italian stereotype, then I guess it's your right to get pissed off about stupid shit. 

The film actually addresses the voice thing with some amount of wit and reverence at the start of the film by including the voice, and cameoing OG Mario voice actor Charles Martinet (who's American of French descent by the way) in not one, but two roles. You could argue about why didn't they a) hire an Italian or b) get Pratt to do "the Mario voice" for the whole movie, but seriously who gives a shit? What matters is whether the movie is any good or not.

So if you're gonna get pissed off about Pratt and the voice, fill your boots. There are plenty of legitimate things for you to be annoyed about in this film. Or you could take heart in the fact this is a fairly decent Mario movie that admires and celebrates its source material (including the voice in it's own way), and is kinda fun.

As you'd hope, the movie is the story of two down-on-their luck Brooklyn plumbers, Mario (Pratt) and Luigi (Day), who find themselves accidentally whisked away to mystical lands. Luigi ends up in the Dark Lands captured by the evil Bowser (Black), who is set on marrying Princess Peach (Taylor-Joy) so he take over the Mushroom Kingdom. Meanwhile Mario ends up in the Mushroom King and teams up with Peach to try to save Luigi and the world.

"Predictable" is the key word for this film, but that's not always a bad thing. It's predictable that the film would be a wishlist of stuff from the history of the Mario games - the characters, the villain, the music, the item boxes, the warp pipes; it's all here. And that's great. It's fan service, but it's to be expected, and it kinda works.

The story that is used to weld all these Easter eggs together is equally predictable, bordering on lazy in places, but again, not in a totally bad way. The film does the acceptable bare minimum in terms of its hero's journey and keeping the plot movie in a compelling way. Is it amazing and will it have you hanging on the edge of your seat? Absolutely not. Does it have power-up item boxes scattered throughout for reasons that don't make logical sense? You betcha. So, you know, fan service, but stretched to try and make the movie work.

In fact, the most obvious way to demonstrate how predictable and safe this film is can be found in the musical choices. Are there any more over-used songs in movies (especially family movies) than Can I Kick It?, No Sleep 'Til Brooklyn, Holding Out For A Hero, Mr Blue Sky, Thunderstruck, Take On Me, and Battle Without Honour Or Humanity?

But hey - it's ok for kids movies to be predictable and safe with 2D characters in a 3D world, I guess. Is this going to blow you away like a Pixar film or The Mitchells Vs The Machines (which also uses Battle Without Honour Or Humanity, yes I know) or Into The Spiderverse? No.

But it's bright and loud and shiny and fun in the way a lot of middle-of-the-road family animated movies are these days. It also happens to have the added cache of being recognisable to millions of people of all ages who will be stoked at the references, especially the musical ones (shout-out for the DK Rap getting a guernsey). 

The Super Mario Bros. Movie treats its source material with respect, and has fun while doing it. And that's more than a lot of other video game movies.

Dungeons & Dragons: Honour Among Thieves

This is a version of a review airing on ABC Radio across regional Victoria on April 13, 2023.

(M) ★★★

Director: Jonathan Goldstein & John Francis Daley.

Cast: Chris Pine, Michelle Rodriguez, Justice Smith, Sophia Lillis, Hugh Grant, Regé-Jean Page, Chloe Coleman, Daisy Head, Jason Wong.

"Thunderdome? Why do they call it a 'thunderdome'?"

I love D&D. I currently have a level 15 bard/fighter lost in Undermountain, and a level eight halfling cleric deep in the jungles of Chult. This is a very nerdy way of saying I feel uniquely placed among film reviewers to critique this movie.

Firstly, if you're a fellow roleplayer who knows their Waterdeep from their Baldur's Gate, add another star to that rating above. For the rest of the world, be satisfied that this is some solid three-star fun that is a welcome big-budget addition to the genre of cinematic fantasy.

Secondly, what Honour Among Thieves does right is give D&D fans not what they want, but what they need. They want a film that abides by the nitty-gritty of the rules of the game, references certain adventure paths, namedrops certain characters and cities, and features cameos from particular podcasts.

But what they need is a proper movie, with relatable characters facing high stakes in a lived-in world, and who undertake an inner journey of growth as they dungeon-crawl their way to the MacGuffin.

The film does most of that. The characters could be sketched a bit more thoroughly, but D&D: Honour Among Thieves is generally great entertainment. It won't test your brain, but it certainly does the Dungeons & Dragons brand no harm (unlike previous films).

Like all good D&D games, the film centres on an adventuring party - a charming bard (Pine), his barbarian bestie (Rodriguez), an accident-prone sorcerer (Smith), and a tiefling druid (Lillis) - taking part in a mythic quest. Each has their own reasons for joining, but the future of the realm is also at stake.

The film's biggest strength is its cast. Pine and Rodriguez are a fine pairing, while Grant's recent diversion into playing charismatic blowhard baddies (see also Paddington 2) is employed to great effect again here. Smith and Page are also excellent in memorable roles, while Lillis does okay in the most underwritten role in the film.

However, there's a kind of "but" with a lot of the film. The writing is fine, but the group dialogue never quite zings like, say, a Guardians Of The Galaxy. The pacing is dextrous, but it lacks a strong thematic core. And as good as Grant is, the other big bad is largely forgettable. It's like when the little old shopkeeper in your campaign offers you a magical item - there's always a catch.

But by and large, this is a fun adventure. It treats its source material with reverence while also having a laugh with it, and it keeps its eyes on the prize without worrying about planning the next campaign.

Hardcore fans will have their gripes (mine is that the bard has no powers, but at least they didn't make him a horny meme). However the fact this is joyful, re-watchable fun should warm the hearts of roleplayers who have had to settle with sub-par straight-to-DVD abominations in the past. The story, its machinations, and its characters have the vibe of those concocted at tables around the world and the big budget sequences are what we all have imagined, except writ large on the big screen.

The only real disappointment - that there's no meta-end credits sequence revealing four players and a DM sitting around a table rolling dice, having played out the whole movie.