The Gray Man

This is a version of a review airing on ABC Radio across regional Victoria on August 18, 2022.

(MA15+) ★★

Director: Anthony & Joe Russo.

Cast: Ryan Gosling, Chris Evans, Ana de Armas, Billy Bob Thornton, Jessica Henwick, Regé-Jean Page, Wagner Moura, Julia Butters, Dhanush, Alfre Woodard.

Unfortunately for Ryan, the whole room was wearing the same colour.

Imagine you're 16 and you're writing a script for an action movie. There will be shootouts, fireworks, fist fights, car chases, explosions, a plane crash, daring rescues, cool locations, and the hero will be utterly unflappable. Sounds cool.

The Gray Man is that movie. Written with all the panache, wit, depth and characterisation you'd expect from a 16-year-old (sorry teens), The Gray Man is the filmic equivalent of an airport novel - perhaps not hugely surprising because it's based on one, the first in a series written by Mark Greaney. So the film is at least true to its source, and that makes it successful in one sense. 

In another more accurate sense, The Gray Man is little more than a loud noise - it will distract you for a bit, then its gone, leaving nothing but a ringing in your ears. Yeah, it's fun while it lasts, but only in a "I've got nothing better to do" kind of way.

The fast-paced plot centres on Sierra Six (Gosling), an ex-con-turned-assassin, who becomes the target of every assassin in the world when he stumbles on the dirty secrets of a crooked government official. 

Netflix has splashed US$200m on this spy flick, hoping to kickstart their own Bond or Bourne franchise. The money is certainly there on the screen - the set pieces are massive, the effects are huge, the cast is top shelf, and the globe-trotting action doesn't let up. But it's an A-grade budget trying to wallpaper over a B-grade script.

Part of me wonders if that's the point. The Russo brothers have given us four of the best films in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, as well as contributing to the all-time-great TV shows Community and Arrested Development, so it seems they know what they're doing. Maybe they set out to make a brains-off, hold-on-tight actioner that harks back to the big shoot-em-ups of the '80s and '90s, but with a modern look and zero depth.

This seems a legit possibility and could give the film a pass, but it's also sporadically clunky and nowhere near as cool as it aims to be. The one-liners don't zing like they should and the tone shifts uneasily between its dark and threatening moments (centring on Evans' too-charming bad guy) and its goofy delights. There's also a weird flashback snuck in early on to set-up a relationship between our hero and a kidnapped girl, after the girl has already been kidnapped, like an afterthought to make us care.

But with so little going on in the character department - despite the best efforts of a very talented cast - it's hard to care. Maybe that's the point though - maybe this is meant to be a very expensive empty vessel that makes a lot of noise and that's it. 

If so, bravo Russo brothers. But it's hard to see how enough people will care enough to come back for the inevitable sequels. 

GIG REVIEW: Sigur Ros - Margaret Court Arena, Melbourne, August 13, 2022

Sigur Ros
Margaret Court Arena, Melbourne
August 13, 2022

I have no idea what Sigur Ros' songs are about. I don't know the words to them - hell, I barely know any of the titles. 

Maybe this makes me a bad fan. Or maybe it's acceptable because I don't speak Icelandic (or their made-up language of Hopelandic for that matter).

But I don't care because Sigur Ros' music moves me in a way that no other band does. To me, it's the most beautiful music I've ever heard a "rock band" make. In fact, seeing Sigur Ros live is a somewhat jarring experience because it reminds you that this beautiful music is actually made by living breathing humans and not in fact created by sticking a microphone on an Icelandic glacier and recording the sound it makes as it slides slowly across the landscape.

Not that the band betrayed their humanity in any real way. The only time frontman Jonsi spoke to the crowd was 19 songs into their 20-song set, when he thanked us for coming. The rest of the time, he looked like a sorcerer, hunched over his guitar, wielding a bow like some kind of magical staff, eliciting phantasmagorical sounds from his instrument.  

But as jarring as it is, and as inhuman as they seemed, seeing Sigur Ros live is thing of beauty. The songs hit as a wave of emotion, without silly things like words and meaning getting in the way. It may as well be instrumental, with Jonsi's voice just another instrument.

Their set was split in two with an intermission, where brave souls dared to line up for fresh drinks, only to mostly miss Glósóli kicking off set two. With no new album from the band in a decade, they leant into their big albums and their "hits", with half the gig dedicated to tracks from () and Takk. Two new tracks - apparently titled Gold 2 and Gold 4 - got an airing, as did a couple of b-sides. It all sounded great.

The darkness of Kveikur was a highlight, as was all-time favourite Svefn-g-englar, but really there were no dud tracks. The grandeur, the beauty, the utterly indecipherable epicness of it all was breathtaking. I'm sure everyone present had their personal moments, where the songs spoke to them in a tongue they didn't understand (seriously, how many Icelandic speakers were there likely to be in a gig in Melbourne? A dozen? 20?). 

But that's the beauty of Sigur Ros. Surely I'm not the only one who feels like their music speaks to them unlike any other band's, despite not understanding a single bloody word of it?