Director: Sylvester Stallone.
Cast: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Eric Roberts, Mickey Rourke, Terry Crews, Randy Couture.
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| Don't you hate it when someone else wears the same outfit to an apocalypse? |
With such a line-up, it's a shame The Expendables is so underwhelming - particularly the Arnie-Sly-Bruce scene. When the movie kicks into gear and starts flexing its impressive action pedigree, it's an unstoppable throwback to the days of Rambo and Commando; a time when heroes cracked wise, shat bullets, and blew-up a thousand faceless enemies before breakfast. Outside of that, it's a tad disappointing.
Stallone is Barney Ross, the head tough guy in a mini-army of tough guys that includes Statham, Li, Lundgren, Crews and Couture, and the excellent opening sequence introduces the gang well, complete with a welcome wry sense of humour.
But the big mission comes from the mysterious Mr Church (Willis), who offers The Expendables a big wad of cash if they can take out the military government that has taken over the Cuba-esque island of Vilenas.
The mission itself becomes irrelevant quickly, morphing into a vague rescue-the-girl story, and it all serves merely as a paper-thin wind-up for the finale, which features an impressive explosions-per-minute count and an even higher body count.
The film continues Stallone's recent attempts to relive his glory days, following on from Rocky and Rambo sequels, by recalling the all-guns-blazing '80s actioners that disappeared with the rise of CG (although digital effects are used to add extra carnage to the final battle) and made his name. In reminding audiences of a genre that now only exists as straight-to-DVD movies, he also falls into many of the same traps of those films he references - explosions at the expense of script, and performances that highlight the shortcomings of the actors.
Stallone and Lundgren are hit-and-miss, as is an over-the-top Roberts as an American backing the military coup and a miscast David Zayas as General Garza, leaving the heavy acting lifting to the under-rated Statham and a superb bit-part from Mickey Rourke as an ex-Expendable. Time has also slowed the fight capabilities of the stars, meaning that choppy editing is used to hide the seams in Stallone's fight with Steve Austin's bodyguard and Lundgren's potentially awesome duel with Jet Li.
But there are plenty of saving graces. The film never takes itself too seriously, is packed with action, and the performances aren't so consistently bad as to be annoying. There is also enough humour and "woah, cool!" moments to satisfy the hordes excited by the prospect of Stallone's dirty half-dozen.
Far from awesome but not totally dumb, The Expendables is kinda awesomely dumb, which makes it pretty good fun.
